WHY?
by NINJA-RENKA
Summary: When Aslan prepares to return to Narnia, the mighty king thinks back on his life with Jadis and her eventual betrayal. As he tries to figure out her actions, the ruler ends up figuring out himself. Prequel to ‘If Things Were Different’. Aslan/Jadis


**WHY?**

**Summary: When Aslan prepares to return to Narnia, the mighty king thinks back on his life with Jadis and her eventual betrayal. As he tries to figure out her actions, the ruler ends up figuring out himself. **_**Prequel to 'If Things Were Different'**_

**Disclaimer: All characters and plot references from the movie and book series belong to C.S. Lewis and Walden media. **

***It's been over a year, and I still haven't watched Prince Caspian . . . but I did read the summaries for the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia series in order to write this story(That counts as something, right?).**

**Anyways, Doctor Madwoman asked me to write this, so if you enjoyed it, you know who to thank - I hope you all like it!(Sorry for the wait, Doc!) **

**ENJOY!**

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_Narnia will always be my first love._

In my younger years, I honestly believed that. I had to, it's what kept me going, what made every sacrifice I had to make somehow seem worthwhile.

From the day I first breathed life into Narnia, its inhabitants and the land itself have been my responsibility. Despite their good or evil natures, I would die to protect any Narnian - as a monarch that is my duty.

I had successfully deluded myself to think that I truly needed nothing else . . . easily convincing myself that the love I had for my land would be enough for me to be happy.

In retrospect, I see how naïve I was. Then again, the wisdom that comes with age is quick to spot the folly of one's youth.

As the history of most worlds go, it wasn't long until conflicts between my people arose - the land was teetering on the brink of war and in a general state of unrest. The Northern witches believed that their concerns were not being heard, their words only falling onto deaf and jaded ears. There was even word of small disputes that had broken out along the borders of their territory. So, to prevent a devastating war, I had made a proposal. To ensure peace, I offered to marry one of their own, ensuring their land and people would remain safe under my personal protection. The witch they sent as their ambassador and my future wife was Jadis. The woman who would simultaneously became my weakness, a source of my strength, and my deadliest adversary.

I've always admired the ever-present and unwavering strength that Jadis wore like a fine cloak. Many feared that about her, they couldn't understand where it came from and how it motivated her - but I did, all too well perhaps. Despite her harsh words and cold demeanor I knew there was something beneath that veneer of ice and every once in a while, I would catch a glimmer of it. It was like she was afraid, irrationally convinced that to show any weakness would lead to her demise. Whenever she felt that she was alone, her eyes would get a far off look, as if remembering battles fought long ago and the ones she was sure to face in the future. Jadis was a born warrior, she trusted no one and wasn't about to start trying . . . yet she understood the duty she had to fulfill and had agreed to be my wife.

Once I met her, I instantly knew that Jadis was a woman that would change me. Whether it would be for good or for bad, I **knew** that after I met her, my life would never be the same.

We were married in early winter, the Twenty-fifth of December.

Christmas Day.

As long as I live, I will never forget how she looked that day. Her cold, stunning beauty is forever burned into my mind . . .

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**The night of Aslan and Jadis' wedding was celebrated all throughout Narnia by young and old. Their union was a living symbol that peace would once again spread through out the land and quell simmering tensions. **

**The King himself was among the revelry held in the castle, being congratulated by well-wishers and the members of his court. His masculine build is dressed in the formal attire that would rival the entire line of English royalty. Draped over his emerald doublet like a cloak is the symbol of his power - the royal lion pelt, it's head draped over his right shoulder. Dark, curly hair spills over his face and into sharp amber eyes that stand out from the sun-kissed bronze of his skin. Aslan's very presence reflects that of the wise warrior-king he is. **

**Finally, making his way out of the celebratory crowd, the ruler searches for his new wife. Intent on speaking with her for the first time since they said their vows.**

**His search isn't long as he finds her standing alone on a stone balcony. Her back is to him as the woman stares into the inky black sky as soft snowflakes fall around her.**

**Jadis was dressed as the snow queen she was often called. Her slim body is covered in a silver and white gown that flows from her hips to pool at her feet. Billowing sleeves drape over arm coverings that extend to her long fingers. The boat-neck collar of the dress shows off the pale skin that covers her slender neck. Subtle make-up is used to enhance her natural beauty and platinum blonde hair has been twisted into an elaborate braid that falls down her back, ending just below her waist. Silver strands of unicorn hair is threaded through her blonde locks causing a shimmering effect to radiate off her. Over the winter wedding dress she is wearing an all white cloak that is trimmed and lined with the soft fur of snow hares.**

"**Here you are, Jadis."**

**Turning at the sound of his deep voice, the golden king is greeted with the impassive face of his queen. **

"**Greetings Aslan."**

**As she speaks her dark eyes trap the Narnian ruler in her gaze, as if drawing him to her. With graceful strides, the king soon takes his place next to his queen.**

"**Your people truly love and admire you my lord, I see why you care for them so much."**

"**Narnia's strength comes from it's people - I'd do anything to protect them."**

**The two stand side by side, silently admiring the stars in the winter sky. There is a comfortable silence between the royal couple, in the background the revelry from their wedding reception is heard through the halls. Noticing the small shiver from the woman beside him, Aslan approaches her and wraps strong arms around her waist. The sudden contact causes Jadis to jump slightly - the pale sorceress caught off-guard by the sudden display of affection. Her husband takes advantage of her shock and rests his head on his wife's shoulder. A faint, pink blush crosses her cheeks as the heat of his chest permeates her clothing and warms her back.**

"**I don't know what plagues your mind Jadis, or what dark secrets you possess, but I hope that in time you will allow me to share your burdens."**

"**It appears the rumors of your infinite kindness are not unfounded . . . Although you should be wary my king, there are those that would take advantage of your kind nature."**

"**That is true, but that is not reason enough for me to stop giving it. I choose to believe in the good that's in all creatures rather than go looking for the evil that resides there as well."**

"**Your words are spoken with the diplomacy of a true king."**

"**And your words are spoken with the respectful criticism of a true queen."**

**The amusing banter puts a small smirk on Jadis' face. His deep, resonating voice invades her ear and causes a warmth to travel throughout her body, threatening to melt the wall of ice she had built up around her heart.**

"**I have only been a queen for a few hours Aslan, I doubt I sound like one."**

"**A true queen is not defined by a title or crown, she is defined by the love she has for her people and the love she has for her king." - informs the Narnian.**

"**Love isn't a quality Northern witches are known to possess."**

"**What a surprise . . . I never imagined you to be a woman that let others define her."**

"**I'm already your wife Aslan, there's no need to be sycophantic." - counters the pale enchantress, her voice almost a whisper.**

"**I disagree, as my wife, you should hear complements everyday."**

**With that Aslan begins kissing the slim column of snow- white flesh, the affectionate touches coaxing a moan from light pink lips. Enjoying the attention, the white witch moves her head in order to expose more of her neck to the lion. Glad he was finally getting a response from the woman in his arms, Aslan lets out a low growl in his throat. Hearing the masculine sound, the enchantress manages to turn around and locks her fathomless eyes with amber orbs. **

"**I think it fair to warn you Aslan, I have a rather possessive nature."**

"**As do I."**

**With those words, pale hands rest on both sides of the king's face and bring him closer to hers. Cool lips press against his warm ones in a soft and lingering kiss. Strong arms pull the thin body closer to his well-muscled one, enveloping her in his radiating warmth . . .**

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For a time, Jadis and I had an ideal marriage, our union had done what it was arranged to do and peace once again settled upon Narnia. We were compatible in so many ways - mentally, emotionally, and physically. The both of us finding in each other the ideal partner, the understanding friend, and the love we had both denied ourselves for far too long.

However as king, my attention was often called by visiting diplomats and ambassadors or seeing to the day-to-day running of the land. Often there would be days at a time where I wouldn't see a trace of her pale countenance.

I found myself missing her presence, and even though she would never admit it, I knew she missed mine as well.

Eventually I began to notice the loneliness that had settled into my queen's dark eyes. I would always tell myself that I would make time to be with her, after the next meeting, the next ceremony, the next council gathering . . .

I suppose I pushed her to do what she did.

No, now I **know** that I did.

I should have heeded her warning, for she is truly possessive in every sense of the word. Jadis demanded my full attention and I, no matter how much I wish could, was unable to give it to her . . . over the years I had somehow forgotten that I wasn't just Narnia's king, I was Jadis' husband.

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**One fateful winter night long ago . . .**

**Cair Paravel, the royal castle of Narnia, has been attacked by an army of creatures, monsters, demons, and other unnamable beasts and nightmarish fiends. At the stroke of midnight, the dark army had descended on the Narnians, completely surprising them and their King. Though the true shock had come from learning that the evil legion was being led by the queen, Jadis the White Witch.**

**For several hours, the battle has been fought long and bravely by the lion king, but his forces were overwhelmed and dwindling by the minute.**

**True to her moniker as the ice queen, Jadis had used her powers to freeze all those that opposed her, forever entombing them in their death throes. **

**After fighting the army that has invaded his home, the mighty lion makes his way through the castle. His golden pelt is stained crimson with fresh wounds as large paws pad through the stone halls. Amber eyes and a keen nose searching for the sight or smell of his wife. As if pulled by some invisible force, the feline is drawn into one of the receiving halls of the castle to see Jadis surrounded by her pack of wolves. The white witch is turned away from him and dressed in full armor, the metal suit tailored to allow movement and highlight her form. Pale hair is flowing loose, cascading down her back. Her sword grasped firmly in her hand and a midnight blue cape billows ominously around her. Sensing the great cat, the wolves begin growling lowly and exposing their blood stained fangs.**

"**Why are you doing this?"**

**The familiar voice causes her to slowly turn around. Her dark eyes find his and remain stoic - the pale visage of her face now devoid of all emotion. The warrior queen stalks towards him, dragging her sword along the stone floor. The shrill scrapping of metal against stone and cadence of her steps blend into an eerie harmony as she nears her king. The enchantress stops a few yards from him, she is near enough to see the details of his face yet far enough away that Aslan can't attack her. Staring at him blankly, the white witch refuses to reply to his question.**

"**Answer me Jadis."**

**Maugrim, leader of her wolves, trots to her side ready to protect the woman from the Narnian ruler. Sneering at the injured lion, the canine decides to provoke the mighty feline.**

"**This Kingdom, your precious Narnia, is no longer yours, Aslan. It now belongs soley to her Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, and Empress of the Lone Islands. Leave now, while our lady allows you to keep your life!"**

"**I was speaking to my wife, I do not remember addressing my question to a mangy mongrel." -seethes the lion with anger.**

**The offensive term causes the large wolf to bristle ready to rip the feline's throat out. However feeling a cold gaze on him, he turns to his master. Comprehending her silent order, he and his pack leave the two monarchs to themselves - intent on finishing the coup of the royal palace. Once alone, golden eyes bore into dark ones.**

"**After all that I've done this night, you still call me your wife?" - inquires Jadis in a cold tone.**

"**I'll proudly call you my wife no matter what you do, Jadis." - replies Aslan as he transforms into his human self.**

**The lion's statement and following surge of magic startles the witch as she watches the body of the feline bend and stretch to that of her human husband. Her glare softens slightly as they take in the muscular form of the great king. His tall, tanned body is covered only in the thick lion pelt adorning his broad shoulders and wrapped around his narrow waist. Sweat dampens his dark locks and rolls down the planes of his body mixing with the blood from various cuts and scratches. On his side there is a particularly nasty slash from an enemy sword that is bleeding steadily. Despite his injuries, the hardened warrior shows no sign of fatigue and remains on his feet, upholding his aristocratic poise.**

"**I will only ask you once more, why are you doing this?"**

"**. . . Because I can."**

**Jadis was an expert liar, yet in their time together Aslan could tell when she was hiding something. Her voice always gained a cold edge to it when she lied - as if she was daring you to call her on it. Picking up on the familiar tone, his eyes continue to stare at her as if attempting to force the truth out of her.**

"**I don't believe you."**

"**Long ago, I told you that there are those that will take advantage of your kindness. Is it so surprising that I would be one of them?"**

"**I always knew you were capable of anything - it's one of your more admirable and attractive qualities."**

**The king's reply manages to visibly confuse the witch as she shifts her body, obviously uncomfortable by the calm manner in which Aslan is taking her betrayal.**

"**However I am truly surprised if you think that Narnia will fall and bow to you simply by my demise. I am its creator and its protector, but not this land's soul. As long as any true Narnian lives, so does this kingdom."**

"**. . . That is what is so infuriating about you, Aslan. You wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice everything you hold dear just to save you precious land. So be it."**

**With those words, she turns away from the king. So that now he is unable to see her face.**

"**I want you to live. I want you to watch with horror as I twist and corrupt the Narnia you knew and loved into a barren tundra. So by all means, flee this place and see to your wounds. Observe from afar as I crush the hope from all the creatures of the land you love so dearly. Resent me for everything I've done until it turns to a deep and seething loathing of my existence. And when you have mustered up enough hate to kill me, you shall know where to find me . . . I'll be waiting for you."**

**As she walks away and out of an amber view, a steady snow begins to fall and a cold chill descends upon the land. Shortly after her departure, the king reverts back to his lion form to conserve energy. The hurried gallop of a guard centaur reaches the mighty feline's ears. Yet he doesn't face the equine creature, his golden eyes trained on the space his queen had just occupied.**

"**My King, we must leave! The queen's army is overwhelming us, we must get you to safety and gather our forces for a retaliation!"**

**Recognizing the truth of his words, the lion breathes a heavy sigh and moves to follow the centaur. Trudging slowly as his mind tries to process the events, Aslan and the last of his army disappear into the night leaving only regrets and foot prints in the fresh snow . . .**

_**Why?**_

_**The questions that I ask you,**_

_**I ask them already knowing the answers . . .**_

_**So why do I ask them?**_

_**Why?**_

_**Why do I torture myself by hearing the harsh reality pass through your lips, brought to life by your own words?**_

_**Why?**_

_**I know why.**_

_**Even though I know the truth, I hope you lie to me.**_

_**I hope that you twist reality into a fantasy I can delude myself with.**_

_**Because if I hear you say it, even if for a moment, **_

_**Maybe I'll be able to believe it.**_

_**Maybe my sanity will be saved,**_

_**Maybe I'll finally be able to understand why you try to destroy me,**_

_**Or why I always let you.**_

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To this day, I still love her. I suppose I always will.

Like a great mountain, I have to remain solid and strong. An ever-vigilant beacon to protect my people from whatever forces that come to harm them.

Jadis, is like a strong wind. Always flowing, not letting anything stand between her and her goals. A wind that could shift from a warm breeze into a freezing gale within seconds.

But I love that about her, it's what draws me to her. The freedom that she has, I envy.

I am the immovable object the she can never make bend to her will and she is the unstoppable force that I can neither hold back nor pin down.

Whether we are lovers or enemies, friends or adversaries - my queen and I are evenly matched in every conceivable way.

Today, as I am preparing to return to my land, back to Narnia, I can sense that something, some form of deep magic, is pulling me home. I feel that the ancient prophecy is finally coming true and two sons of Adam and two daughters of Eve shall soon step through an old wardrobe and make their fated journey . . .

To end one hundred years of winter,

To free Narnia and her people,

To kill Jadis . . .

Even now, I don't know how I feel about that, or how I'll feel once I see her again. But there is no use agonizing over the feelings that may or may not arise, I have a duty to fulfill. I must save Narnia, once again take up my role as it's guardian. Once again, I must remain strong and stoic for my people.

However, after one hundred years of my self-imposed isolation - a century to do nothing but reflect on my life, I finally understand why she betrayed me that night.

She wanted me to loathe her, to hate her, to feel an all-encompassing emotion only for her . . . to make sure that I was unable to ever forget her - and she succeeded. Despite the nature of the feelings I have for her, Jadis will always occupy a part of me that no other could ever hope to.

We truly are foils of one another.

She despised all creatures, yet I was able to make her love me.

I loved all creatures, yet she was able to make me despise her.

We both made each other feel emotions that we had long convinced ourselves that we unable to experience. But I suppose that's what true love does to you. It shows you who you truly are and what you are capable of. It exposes the dark and well-kept secrets that you were hiding, especially the ones hidden even from yourself.

But in the end, you are all the better for it.

After all, what doesn't kill us, just makes us stronger.

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**THE END**

**This was in Aslan's POV since the sequel to this is pretty much in Jadis' POV.**

**With this story, I was going for a deep introspection into Aslan's mind. Frankly, I hate when there are characters that are all good or all evil - it's unrealistic. So, here I was trying to expose all of Aslan and Jadis as characters and as people.**

**BTW, in case I forgot to say it before, the poem(both in this story and _If Things Were Different) _were written by me. I KNOW they don't rhyme but not all poetry has to.**

**Oh! In case any of you are wondering, there is a reason why Aslan and Jadis are married on Christmas Day. In the book/movies, when Jadis creates an endless winter, she bans Christmas. I thought a good reason for that would've been that she didn't want to be reminded of the day she married Aslan.**

**Well, if you liked it or if you didn't, feel free to tell me in a review or creative criticism - no flames please!**

**Later Days!**

**NINJA-RENKA**


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